Recently my husband and I made a game-time decision to pivot from previous travel plans. We had curated a four-day family weekend get-away. We were excited about it. However, what we needed more was time as a couple and time to rest. We are together as a family a lot. As mothers, we carry endless gratitude for our families. Building a strong family who can have fun together is certainly a goal. However, the daily lift and commitment to family and work life can be exhausting. We needed space to strengthen us and to rest. Instead, childcare needed problem solving and packing for a couple’s getaway! It felt empowering to do something a little spontaneous in response to our personal needs, especially in a season when life is very planned and often centered around the kids’ activities in our free time.
It’s such a balancing act. Knowing our individual, marriage and family needs are a part of healthy living. In various seasons of life, those needs change, don’t they? (Note to self: It takes time and space to even know our needs anew!) But one need remains the same — the need for rest. We can’t put our best foot forward when we are running on fumes.
Without rest, our minds, muscles, and eyes weaken. Without rest, we are reminded of our human limits. We are not designed to be machines, cranking nonstop. We need rest. We can cheapen rest and think that putting our feet up and scrolling is resting. We know it’s not. We may even wonder what rest truly looks like. Does getting a manicure feel like rest? Does watching Netflix? Maybe some of the time. But the true antidote is being free of responsibility.
Although rest is defined differently by each individual, some universal ways to experience rest include:
· Time away
· Something “unproductive”
· Permission to not be helpful (especially for women)
· Alone time at home
· Connection to art or nature
· A break from responsibility
· Solitude to recharge
· Stillness to decompress
· Safe space
· Unplugging from technology
· Having a plan-free weekend designed for lounging
We rest because it allows us to separate our identity from what we produce in a day. We are inherently valuable because we are a human being not a human doing. We need to remain aware of times when we are hustling for our worth and value. Do we find our value only in how much we get done in a day or achieve overall? I believe work is a good thing. However, rest goes hand-in-hand with the work we all do to THRIVE in this life: emotional work, physical work, relational work, occupational work, spiritual work and intellectual work all must experience times of rest.
What will your rest look like as we close 2023 or look ahead with anticipation for 2024? We rest because there is good work still to be done.