I remember the first time I made an appointment with a therapist. At that point, it wasn’t as socially acceptable or as common as it is today! I was nervous to meet my therapist at his office on my college campus. I was faced with a relationship decision and transition ahead of me which seemed to have me paralyzed a bit on the inside. I remember thinking, “I have outgrown the advice of my mom!” (Forever grateful for her — God bless!) I wanted to find more of my own thoughts and feelings around this decision and sit with a professional who wouldn’t judge me but instead would help me find clarity and a new peace. I had no idea what I needed but I knew, “…if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got!” I had been in turmoil long enough. It was time to be brave, open-up to a stranger with a warm smile who was bound by law to keep our conversation confidential. Wheeeew! Looking back, that investment into myself was empowering and reaped great rewards.
Most of us don’t spend years studying human thinking and behavior, listening, relationship education, and mental and emotional health conditions. Therapists have sought higher education and focused in-depth study on these concentrated areas. Therapists have also practiced for thousands of hours — honing their skills before seeing clients one-on-one, without supervision.
Of course, for most of us, friendship makes the world go round! There is an obvious relief in a good chat session with a trusted friend. While friendships and subsequent vulnerable conversations are vital to us, our friends are not professionally trained therapists. Unfortunately, while these conversations offer so much, there is often no resolution to our issues. So, what happens when issues don’t get resolved? When you’re at a loss as to why you experience the same patterns and unwanted emotions? Often, in those moments, we become stuck. Stuck in an unhealthy belief system. Stuck, even emotionally stinted. It’s human nature to get stuck in feelings that are hard to sit with and things we don’t want to allow ourselves to feel completely. Especially since life is coming at us fast and change can seem constant. While our friends can offer guidance and a listening ear, often times, seeking out a professional is the next step.
Therapists/Clinicians are trained to listen to what is being said (and what is not being said), in a way that allows the client to process their life in a more complete way. Therapists assist clients in being able to receive insight, health and the wholeness that comes when we face our stories. Life is a process…and so is healing and wholeness. Often, we struggle to find words or emotions surrounding our real life. The limit to our language is the limit to our life. It is especially challenging when we are in new circumstances or living in a season of lots of stress. We all need a safe place and tools to help us cope, find language and feel the pleasant emotions we want to experience, again. Therapists are not “paid friends,” as the relationship is not reciprocal
Common times to see a Therapist:
– To gain understanding about how your past is impacting your present
– To learn new coping skills for your current season of life
– To understand and receive an accurate mental and emotional health diagnosis
-To improve insight and judgement
-To learn how to develop and use boundaries
-To gain a higher emotional intelligence and more vibrant inner-life
-To clarify what is trauma and heal from your trauma
-To process grief and loss
-To find ways to enjoy your child again and gain new parenting tools
-To understand and recognize your “triggers”
-To grow in your ability to connect to yourself and others
-To clarify career directions and make goals
-To receive support and clarity in times of transition and change
-Wanting to find joy again after a long stretch of being sad
The majority of therapists will offer a brief complimentary phone consultation to discern if a client is within their scope of practice and to ensure communication styles are complimentary. The goal of this consultation is to ensure there is alignment with the desired outcome and ensure those outcomes are realistic.
This Fall may we all heal, grow, learn and thrive!