During the summer months, we depart from the structure of the school and work year and move into new rhythms of backyard barbecues, vacations, and the long, lazy days of summer. This is a great time to make space for personal growth by identifying and expanding into our growth edges. Below are some tips for relaxing the typical ego structure for each Enneagram Type.
Type 1: THE REFORMER
Relax and have fun. Summer is a great time to relax about your “to do” list. Practice letting go (at least a little bit) of the structured days of the first two quarters, the drive to solve problems, to chase ideals, and to fix and reform. When Ones are feeling secure, they can move to Type 7 where they are able to experience spontaneity and playful engagement with friends and family during leisure time, traveling, and socializing. It’s time to cut loose, tap into your inner child, and make some dreams come true…what are 1–2 things that you can do this summer to RELAX and bring out your playful spontaneous self?
Type 2: THE HELPER
Relax and retreat from others. Summer is a great time to disconnect a little bit from others so you can reconnect with yourself. It’s time to relax the attention you give to your acts of service, the giving of your time and helpful advice to others, and your natural focus on ensuring you are adding value to those around you. It is time to tune into you, invest in you, and take care of yourself. It may make you uncomfortable to stop focusing on other’s needs, listen more than speak, and to take time off serving to retreat, but this is an opportunity for growth! What would be life-giving to you (that does not include helping others)? Giving yourself permission to “fill your cup” may feel selfish to you but you must remember that you cannot give to others out of an “empty cup.” You have value whether you are helping others or just being you.
Type 3: THE ACHIEVER
Relax and rest. Threes, it’s time to stop doing, doing, doing! Summer is a great time to put down your list of goals and pursuit of achievement and make space for rest and acceptance of who you are and where you are in life today. As a Three, you tend to over-identify with what you do, your roles, and your accomplishments to feel valued in the world. But what would happen if you would simply accept that the world will continue to revolve even when you rest? Would you experience peace? And what would happen if you would practice self-acceptance (as you are) instead of what you are trying to become? You have value just because you are, not because of what you do. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to slow down, take long walks and deep breaths, and carve out time to rest. It’s time to stop and smell the roses.
Type 4: THE ROMANTIC
Relax and practice gratitude. Those who lead with Type 4 tend to focus on what is missing from their lives, envy those that have “it”, and longingly search for things that will add meaning to their world. Instead of searching, summer is a great time to practice contentment and make note of all the things you already have in your life for which you are grateful. You will not be “complete” by adding things to your life, you are whole just as you are. When you become overwhelmed because you feel insufficient or incomplete, talk these vulnerable feelings over with a close friend and get their perspective. You may realize that you can allow yourself to be loved and cared for just the way you are.
Type 5: THE INVESTIGATOR
Relax and let people in. Summer is a great time to practice letting your guard down and letting people in. For those who lead with Type 5, much energy is spent protecting one’s privacy and preventing energy depletion which is done by detaching from others. This can lead to isolating behaviors if left unchecked. To counter this, consider being the initiator of some social engagements with friends and family this summer. Invite your daughter to brunch or your friend to coffee. Practice listening to them to connect instead of gaining information. Practice sharing some thoughts you have been having and then receive their feedback and input. In this way, you will experience connection with others because of being generous with your time and energy.
Type 6: THE LOYALIST
Relax and practice trusting yourself. For someone who leads with Type 6, a growth edge is to move from a state of self-doubt to trusting your gut. You are more than capable of making decisions, learning from mistakes, and leading with confidence. Try to let go of worry and constant contingency plans and instead, experiment with going with the flow and trusting your gut for those moment to moment and even long-term decisions. When fear or anxiety crops up, remind yourself that you can pivot and change directions for most decisions. You will learn something about yourself regardless of the outcome!
Type 7: THE ENTHUSIAST
Relax and practice being present. Those that lead with Type 7 are constantly in motion, moving from one thing to another. Their heads are spinning as they look to the future for the next exciting experience. Because of this, the Sevens tend to avoid their more difficult feelings and sometimes struggle being fully present and in the moment. Summer is a good time to slow down and take in your surroundings as well as to tune in to your feelings. To strengthen your ability to be present, how about doing some journaling this summer? Journaling forces us to slow down and be present with our thoughts and feelings. This can also help you patiently seek wisdom for your decision making rather than racing towards the next fun thing.
Type 8: THE CHALLENGER
Relax and take time for yourself. Summer is a good time to make time and space for self-care and insight work. Eights tend to be leaders and are usually pouring themselves into their families, work, volunteer duties, and generally changing the world. They are the first to defend others and march for causes, yet they struggle being in touch with the more vulnerable parts of themselves. This summer, what would happen if you took some time for self-reflection and identified needs that you need to take care of? Practice some vulnerability by asking for what you need whether it be time off, a massage, or someone else to make dinner. Believe it or not, others in your life can learn to pick up the slack and give you some much needed space for self-care.
Type 9: THE PEACEMAKER
Relax and then complete one project you have been putting off. Summer is a great time to tackle larger projects and there is such a sense of accomplishment when you get it done! Nines tend to procrastinate on projects because of the required energy to get up at go and make decisions. They tend to distract themselves by completing smaller projects that take less time and focus so they get the satisfaction of crossing the finish line on something. Meanwhile, a more important and bigger project looms in the shadows causing them to feel more anxiety. This summer, use that anxiety to fuel movement towards tackling the project you know is important for you to complete. This is also a time to reach out to others to help you if needed. Type 9s tend to show up and help others but have a more difficult time seeing that their need for help is just as important as the others in their lives.